Brings me back…
Thursday, May 13th, 2010Today the NY Times has a nice photo essay:
The memories are still strong. China is the most prolific with such malapropisms, but all of Asia should be given a hat tip for its contributions to the cause of making me wet myself laughing. This is one of my personal faves that I captured (in Rishikesh, India):

Xinjiang, China: “The Other Tibet”
Friday, January 8th, 2010
Wild Bactrian camels, Kyrgyz yurts, Tajik music. The far western frontier of China is as much a separate country as Tibet.
The term in the title is not mine, but one used by Matthew Teague in his article in last month’s (Dec. 2009) issue of National Geographic:
The Uygurs, Muslim people of China’s resource-rich far west, are becoming strangers in their own land as Han Chinese pour in. Like the Tibetans, who face similar pressures, some Uygurs see a chance for a better life, but others protest the disintegration of their culture, even at the risk of death.
The massive western region has become a flashpoint for unrest in modern China. Its natives, the Uyghurs, are increasingly unhappy with the heavy-handed governance by the Communists despite the dubious “autonomy” afforded to the region.
Join me for a look at the the Uyghur people, their ancestral land, and the current state of their plight.
A sad day in Muslim China
Thursday, May 28th, 2009After surviving hundreds of years at the edge of the desert in a land more removed from the oceans than anywhere on Earth, the Silk Road oasis of Kashgar will soon be destroyed once and for all.
What endured the elements & foreign invasions for centuries failed to withstand 6 decades of Chinese rule.
Traders from Delhi and Samarkand, wearied by frigid treks through the world’s most daunting mountain ranges, unloaded their pack horses here and sold saffron and lutes along the city’s cramped streets. Chinese traders, their camels laden with silk and porcelain, did the same.
The traders are now joined by tourists exploring the donkey-cart alleys and mud-and-straw buildings once window-shopped, then sacked, by Tamerlane and Genghis Khan.
Now, Kashgar is about to be sacked again.
China: The biggest & perhaps baddest nation on Earth
Monday, November 22nd, 2004General HAHA Chinese Journal posts
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004Most Mandarin speech sounds much like the “ping pong” jargon westerners envision when they think of Chinese. But often words sound like something familiar. For example, “how” means “good” and “knee” means “you”. To say hello in China you simply ask about someone’s leg joint, “Knee how?” There’s even the rare onomatopoeia like the word for “cat” – “mao”. But more often what we English speakers hear isn’t what’s meant. If you say “Hong Kong” to a Chinese person, you are asking to send something “by airmail”. So for kicks, inspired by my Mandarin floundering of late, here’s a list of my
TOP 5 “That’s not what I meant” Chinese terms
5) Shoe = book (but they also use it to herd livestock, as in SHOO!)
4) WHOA! = me, I
3) Mayo = don’t have (one of the most common phrases heard by foreigners. It can also mean “get lost, Whitey, I don’t want to deal with you.”)
2) WOO, fun! = 5 minutes
And, the Palestinians would have a field day with this one
#1) “Jew” = pig (Hey, I’m not making this stuff up!) (more…)
Yunnan- 3 month’s worth of insights
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004YUNNAN - Too good to be true?
Kunming: Nicest city in China
My 1st stop in the Yunnan province was its capital, Kunming. The rather small city by China standards (nearly 4 million) sits at 6000 feet in elevation, yet somehow has a warm climate. Sparkling clean streets are lined with nouveau skyscrapers which dwarf the remnants of the quaint tiled roofs of the old town. Almost no one uses their horns, a pleasant reversal from Vietnam. Weekends bring countless people to the streets to sing, play music, or give other elaborate perfomances simply because, since the recent end of the prohibition of artistic expression during the cultural revolution, they now can. Large lakes and parks teeming with pink blooming cherry trees within the city limits make this one of China’s most livable cities.
Seeking sun 12 months later, I returned to “spring city”. I got some, but lots of wind and wacky weather as well. Knowing my way around a big city -as I spent 6 days there the previous year- is always a plus. Bought some more cheap DVDs (14 for $10) and some old-looking art for slightly more. The girl who sold me the art called me “xiao qi”, which I think translates to “tight-ass”, which might mean I didn’t get ripped off too bad. (more…)
Beijing and central China
Saturday, July 24th, 2004
Beijing: The capitol of capital
The 1st thing one notices upon arriving in Beijing (BJ) for the 1st time after spending over 6 months in other parts of the country is how damn expensive everything is; everything is twice the price, at least. Fortunately I was able to couch surf at friends of friends/family’s places or else my time in BJ would have found me in overpriced roach motels. Better still was the fact that the first place I stayed was a mere 20-minute walk from the Pakistani embassy, miraculous really considering both the immense size of BJ and the innumerable times I was asked to make the trip. After many days dealing only with headaches, I decided to play tourist and visit the most famous site within BJ, The Forbidden City.
Maybe I caught it on a bad day, but the only thing forbidden now from the once sanctimonious dwelling of the emperors is anyone unwilling to shell out 60 kuai. A testament to the burgeoning capitalism in BJ & China: There is a Starbucks inside The Forbidden City! Hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of hype-driven foreign and domestic tourists detracted tremendously from the aura of the grounds which were once graced by only eunuchs and concubines. After my visit, I feel it’s more intriguing to watch Bertolucci’s “The Last Emperor”. The nearby Tiananmen Square was much smaller than I’d envisioned. It was hard to believe that this was where thousands of democracy advocates were once squashed by tanks (an action which the Communist Chinese government to this day defends as “necessary”). The visit to the Mao-soleum in the middle of it all -the 1st mausoleum I’ve seen- was a comical peek into the modern Chinese mind. The waxy-looking Chairman didn’t look all that impressive.
Not just another brick in The Wall
After learning the hard way time and time again in China to not believe the hype, I went to The Great Wall (TWG) with very low expectations. Hey, I’ve seen WALLS before. But when I arrived at TWG, my pre-conceived notions disappeared immediately. The winding, unrestored structure ascended steeply up the mountainside and off into the horizon in such a way that pictures just can’t do it justice. You just gotta see it to believe it. This section, Huanghuacheng, purportedly required one laborer’s entire day’s work for each inch of masonry. (more…)
Western China & Sichuan
Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
XINJIANG: Blonde, Muslim & Chinese
Wild Bactrian camels, Kyrgyz yurts, live Tajik music and dancing, Xinjiang is a world unto itself. The far western frontier of China is as much a separate country as Tibet. Claims for independence have been suppressed by the PLA and by heavy investment by Beijing as the gov’t tries to find more suitable places for its crushing population to inhabit.
Hotan – Vestiges of a dying breed
My 1st touristy destination after 4 lax days recovering from the Tibetan isolation was the weekly market in Hotan, once a key oasis on what’s come to be known as the Silk Road. My timing was good this time as I could experience the calamity of the ancient trading methods in their natural setting in its waning months. This year China plans to “improve” the area by razing it in favor of a modern mall-type structure. (more…)
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