No matter how good TLP becomes, we can never compete with this:

We have come so far. We are now at the brink. Or as Peter Gabriel said it, “I’m on my way out making it: Big Time!”

You distract the guards and I’ll make a break for it…
No, but seriously. We are ready to call Krustylu & other major studios and tell them we are going to deliver their next big hit. “The Laughing Planet” is poised to become the breakout hit of 2009!

After a few months trying to wrangle TLP onto the silver screen, it appears that it’s time to re-calibrate our marketing rifles on a more viable and likely home for a project of this nature. It also happens to already exist in over 99% of American homes. In fact, since 2006, the average home in the U.S. has more televisions than it does residents.

Our project was initially designed as a TV series and it should end up that way. Our foray into the film festival circuit was a brief but interesting one. Had we intended to be purely a feature-length movie from the beginning, we would have had a much easier go of it, but then again, this should mean our current transition will be more natural.

So, do you folks have any suggestions? Other than “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” and a football game now & then, I really don’t know what goes down on the boob toob. Where would a hilarious cultural excursion about the lighter side of adventure backpacking fit? Is there a “Docu-comedy Channel”?

Yeah, it was a hail mary, but it was nice to dream.

The dream came to an end yesterday when we received this missive from the behemoth industry juggernaut which likes to portray itself as a tiny cozy gathering of film aficionados-

As the Director of the Sundance Film Festival, I would like to thank you for submitting your work to us, and I truly appreciate your hard work and dedication as an independent filmmaker. Unfortunately, we are not able to include your film in Sundance Film Festival 2009.

I’m sure it is no consolation to you that we are forced to make these difficult decisions, but I do believe that there certainly is an audience for your film and I anticipate that you will find the appropriate platform for presenting it. I regret not being able to include all of the films that we appreciate, but we simply don’t have the room. We look forward to having the opportunity to view your work in the future.

Sincerely,

Geoffrey Gilmore

Director, Sundance Film Festival

Well…don’t break your keyboard writing me such a lengthy reply, Geoffrey. I guess Redford was too busy to have you sign his name to the email?

In the end, it makes it easier for me to resolve what was a bit of a moral dilemma which has sprung up about tourism in Mormon country due to their involvement in a little church-meets-state action that went down in California this year.

I won’t be spending any more cash in Bigot Central anytime soon.